Last month I began working with the Stanford Pain Clinic, with a couple of goals in mind 1) to get a second opinion on my diagnosis and 2) to develop a toolbox to deal with my pain and fatigue – the later being the most debilitating. By the end of October I will have my work-up complete. My team will meet and identify what actions are necessary to move me towards a pain-free life. My team includes a pain specialist, neurologist, neuro-psychologist, physical therapist, endocrinologist, and psychologist specializing in working with folks with chronic pain. My first meeting with the pain specialist was remarkable, I can say it was my first doctor’s appointment over the last two years where the physician listened to me completely – no symptom fell outside of her specialty – a true holistic view. She also proposed a new diagnosis – chronic traumatic encephalopathy – a result from my car accident 30 years ago. This is the disease many football, boxers, and hockey players are faced with due to too many head injuries.
I will admit this new potential diagnosis did put me into a tailspin, even before confirmation, due to my completely spastic imagination. I am an addictive Googler – Hi I am Colleen and I am a Google-holic, I can’t help myself I obsess over the worse-case scenario of any diagnosis I am faced with. My nervous system can be very counter productive, the more I stress, the more pain I have, the more pain I have the less active I am. My brain and my body feel better with moderate physical activity. Last week, I finally shook off the Google cloud that was hanging over me, I have “making” to thank for this. One of my Stanford docs emphasized to do things I enjoy, making gives me lots of joy, I just need to remember this. It doesn’t have to be complicated, a quick drawing will do.
The process of sewing clothing is wonderfully distracting. I love the slow methodical steps, it’s meditative. When I was young and I tried to sew, I couldn’t quiet my mind so that I can focus on the steps – it was a mess! The best part of sewing, at the end of the day you have something tangible, so satisfying.
I enjoyed making the Shirt Dress, from Merchant & Mills, a UK company. I used muslin, so I could identify any changes I would want to make with this cheaper fabric. The pattern was easily followed, each time I work with a new pattern I learn a new technique.